If Momma Ain’t Happy…

“The collective state of women’s wombs reflects the condition of the world. When so many women’s wombs suffer from tumors, cysts, frigidity, and heavy menstrual bleeding, when so many women experience sexually aggressive acts and unnecessary hysterectomies, then disharmony covers the earth”. Queen Afua |Sacred Woman: A Guide to Healing the Feminine Body, Mind and Spirit (2)

March 03, 2018

As I meditate on the state of my womb and the wombs of my sistars , I realize something that cannot be overlooked…our wombs are not well. There aren’t enough of us talking about womb wellness and the importance of healing our womb (our sacred seat). But it’s for the sake of our wombs that we must listen to the call of our intuition which is leading each of us to cater more to our higher selves, our higher consciousness. There is something inside us that is not comfortable living in lack or living in a state of less than our best selves. That is the call of our intuition, that is the call of our womb. Our womb connects us to our higher selves.

There’s a reason that woman was created with a womb;  it’s by divine design. There is healing for all creation when a woman is in tune with her womb and thus herself. That old saying “If momma ain’t happy, aint nobody happy” is more true to me now than ever before! I use to hear that saying and (mis)interpret it to mean that a woman’s needs and wants were primary within a family and that everyone in the home (especially the male Lover) was responsible for  momma’s happiness. Boyyyyyy did I have that all the way wrong! In my naiveté I believed it because that’s what those around me believed.  But wisdom has since led me to know better and has thrust me (lovingly) onto this path of womb wellness.

I’ve discovered a deeper meaning to that old saying “if momma ain’t happy…”. What I know now is that happiness is not only a state of mind (meaning it’s based on your perception and your thinking at a particular moment in time) but it’s also the responsibility of the person seeking the happiness (not anyone elses responsibility). I’m learning a lot in my 30’s.

(What I’m about to say next, I mean it in the most humble and sincerest way possible) the role of a woman in creation’s storyline is invaluable; we are “the shit” (Urban dictionary: The Shit= the greatest, the best). From supplying the egg needed for fertilization to bestowing upon this harsh world that nurturing love that reminds us that there is a God, the woman is the beginning and the sustainer of all life and creation. Just ask anyone who their best supporter is or who their “day 1” has been or who has stuck it out with them when anyone else would have left them and the answer will most certainly lead back to a woman in their life. So, the care of a woman is in fact primary (just as I once believed) but now I understand that momma’s happiness isn’t necessary for some petty, selfish reason; it’s necessary because women are the source and the strength for the family unit and for the community (or at least this is true in the black culture).

I suppose the question now is: whose responsibility is it to ensure that woman are well and well taken care of ? Well, I believe it’s  first the responsibility of the woman to ensure her needs are met (and to be fair, I believe it’s the responsibility of each adult person to ensure their own needs are met too). It might not be a woman’s role to actually MEET all of her own needs but she’s, honestly, probably the only one who is going to pay the most attention to what her mind, body, soul and womb crave.  Others will check in, if that’s how a woman has set up her support system but aside from check-ins, it’s a woman who is responsible for:

  1. Knowing herself/discovering herself
  2. Pleasing/satisfying herself
  3. Growing/developing herself
  4. Nurturing/taking good care of herself
  5. Sharing/revealing herself (with sistars and Lovers, as she see’s fit)
  6. And recharging/ healing herself

These are not controlled by or the responsibility of another human being (a woman reading this post will know this whereas a girl may not). A woman has lived long enough to know better than to rely on another for their happiness or she’s been raised to know better under the teaching of another female. And for my readers who haven’t yet come to know this yet, it’s completely okay to not yet have experienced the deep disappointment of expectations being unmet by a friend, a family member, or a Lover.  There are levels to this thing called womanhood and we all come into knowledge and understanding at different times regarding one thing or another. But it is absolutely a requirement of womanhood that we seek knowledge of self above all else and that we challenge our sistars and daughters and female elders to do the same. It is to the benefit of all creation (ourselves included) that a woman develop herself and then help to facilitate the development of those around her so that her community reflects a people who are growing and developing (as opposed to generations who are dying in a broken state).  I digress.

(And for those who love to “blame eve” for everything) NO, it’s not (solely) a woman’s fault when the state of her community is fucked up! It’s the responsibility of the entire community to ensure that the community is thriving and healthy. The woman just plays a really big role, by design. Okay, I really digress now.

Find your happy place, Sis.

Then protect it, ferociously!


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[Featured Image Photo Cred: misszoe on deviantart.com]

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