January 25, 2018
“I don’t know about the rest of you mommy’s out there but it’s the last seven days of January 2018 and I’m still scrambling to finalize my personal goals for 2018, welp! My professional goals are already finalized and in motion but these personal goals have somehow taken a back seat… not a good start to the year. I need a public place to chronicle my mommy goals, that way I feel accountable and guilty if I slack off! — introducing INTJ Mommy Goals. ” ~Deneen, INTJ Mommypreneur
“She needed a hero, so that’s what she became”(unknown source). I spent much of my teen years angry about not having a (s)hero, my 20’s looking for a (s)hero and now in my 30’s I’m becoming my own (s)hero. It’s really difficult for me to open up my life to the public (its an Introvert thing, I guess) but 2018 is my year to overcome fear of failure and fear of rejection. I have an amazing inner circle and my tribe keeps me anchored in love pretty nicely these days. I’m working each day to fortify my space, its time to do the same with my internal space. Here’s what I’ll be working on in February:
♥ Setup a YouTube Account for Woman1sh.com (its time to start video logging)
♥ Research INTJ characteristics and INTJ Parenting (content for Youtube VLogging).
♥ Figure out how to edit videos (this migh tbe important, lol).
♥ Purchase equipment for recording YouTube Videos (or look for free shit/cheap shit/donations).
♥ Begin filming videos (take a leap of faith)
January 31, 2018
Okay guys, so I did it, I actually did it! I faced by fear and started filming for my YouTube page. I just decided to turn on my laptop camera this past week and let it capture some “mommy and me” moments with Xoe and I. The band aid has been ripped off!
I still have a few more things I need to add to my YouTube Channel such as: 1) an actual VLog introduction to this recorded yoga session (above) and 2) an introductory video for my YouTube page in general (so people know what my page is about and who I am) but for all intents and purposes I DID IT!!! I actually started filming! Follow my blog by clicking below and like/comment/subscribe to my blog. Make sure I stay on track guys, lol.
february 01, 2018
I decided to spend last night with family; after all it WAS a “Blue Super Blood Moon” yesterday so I wanted to be sure that I spent the time in the most meaningful way possible. I partook in “the 3 F’s” (something that is basically tradition in black culture) family, food and fun! I have zero regrets about the way I chose to spend my evening and am looking forward to spending more time with the familials! lol. HOWEVER, I awoke today feeling disoriented. Why? Because I routinely organize my days the night before and because I went “off script” last night I did not create a to-do list for today. To an INTJ, this is a cardinal sin! The “J” in “INTJ” stands for “Judging” (not to be confused with judgmental, they’re not the same). This judging preference means that I prefer to be orderly and structured in my decision-making. What does that mean for me this morning? It means that a To-Do list is a MUST! There’s no such thing as “shooting from the hip” or “winging it”. So, here I am at 11:11 typing up this blog entry feeling completely unorganized. SMH at myself. Here’s whats really confusing, I’m actually being extremely productive so far and have been productive since I woke up! There wasn’t one point in my morning where I felt like I was wasting time. I think my main problem here is that I haven’t already planned the next few hours yet so I feel out of control. and unprepared which creates anxiety for my INTJ personality type. Solution: stop what I’m doing and write down tasks/goals I need to complete between now and Xoes bedtime at 8:00pm.
I, seriously, already feel better!!
february 4, 2018
Its sunday and I have zero plans to attend a church service today. I was raised in church so not attending a sunday worship service was different for me at first. In 2013, a series of events led me to my decision to leave the faith community where I’d been worshipping for several years and take some time to recover from what I can only identify as mistreatment.
My first year away from my faith community was by far the toughest because I’d relied so heavily on my faith community to replace the relationship I was unable to have with my mother and father. In some way me being an active member of a faith community was spiritually cathartic. “A spiritual catharsis can also be an emotional release, particularly when we need psychological and intellectual cleansing”. I had pinned up emotions related to being distant from my parents and somehow believing in a higher power and maintaining consistent spiritual practices within a faith community helped me to release a lot of the pinned up feelings and stress I carried around in my body for years.
Its 2017 now and while forgiveness and healing have taken root, I’ve not felt released to return to a christian church. (Does this mean that I’m no longer a christian? who knows!) As each year passes, I continue to maintain my relationship with God through consistent spiritual practices. As I draw closer to God, I’m surprised at what I discover. I thought that as I learned more about God and drew closer to God I would feel compelled to return to church but that’s not at all the case. I actually feel like I would be more of a disruption to a church setting than a helpful addition to the community. You see, as I’ve drawn closer to God during these past few years (especially this last year), I’ve discovered my higher self and she. is. Love!
My higher self is yearning for a God that looks like me and spiritual practices that feel more aligned with my inner self (as opposed to “the self” that I’m often made to believe is me). While church has been an undeniably firm foundation on which I’ve stood for many years, I know now that it has also kept me in somewhat of an ignorant and weakened state (especially regarding who I am called to be and the powerful gifts I have hidden inside, waiting to be unlocked). Maybe I’ll dedicate a separate blog post or two to exploring my journey into and out of the christian church. For now, I’ll say this: my spirituality is so much more potent now than it has ever been and I owe that foundation to christianity. However, the last year or two have truly taught about ME and as I approach a year of practicing yoga, 6 months or so of studying numerology and am becoming more awakened to concepts like kundalini energy- I can just feel myself unplugging more and more from the religious matrix.
“Feels so good baby” ~R.Smart
Check out my post on the OSHUN: African Goddess of Love to see how learning about her has completely elevated my sense of self and liberated me from ashamed of my sensuality and temperance and just my feminine energy altogether. There is room for someone like me and that makes me feel very much like I belong. Check out the blog post!
Happy Superbowl Sunday! Go PATS!
FEBRUARY 09, 2018
Yesterday was a long day, I agreed to watch my cousins son AND I was on mommy duty for the entire 24 hours, eeek! Needless to say, I don’t wanna talk to anyone today (not if it means having an actual conversation). I just need to retreat into my mind for a few hours and THINK. As for my INTJ mommy goals for today, I need to start doing more research on the INTJ personality type, specifically the INTJ parent. Think I’ll work some time into each week to research this and record some youtube videos on what I learn. Stay tuned! Channeling my inner creative today!…alone!
february 11, 2018
Today I shared space with some of my favorite sistah’s. Around midday, I enjoyed a Galentine’s Day Brunch with old and new faces and we celebrated one another by enjoying each others time and conversation. There was fun, food and family so you already know it was my kind of event! Despite how much fun I was having (and I was having a lot of fun) I decided to slip out of the event early and check out a local “sister circle” gathering being held by a good girlfriend of mine. PLUG: Check out Shayola, the Artisan at Holistic Alaye for your healthy eating/healthy lifestyle needs
The ladies at the sacred sister gathering all gave off really positive vibrations; the space felt safe. NOW, despite ALL THAT SAFENESS y’all know your girl was still uncomfortable as hell because there were so many new faces; unfamiliarity naturally makes me anxious. lol… But it felt like I was in the right place at the right time and so (despite my INTJ desire to head for the closest exit,) I stayed PUT and I digested all that the universe wanted me to digest during that sacred time.
We are working on healing our womb. I know that might seem odd to some people but if you think about it, the womb is the mecca of all life, the genesis of your time here on earth, the portal between the natural world that we live in and the spiritual world from where we’ve come… the womb (which God only placed inside of a female at the time of Creation) is the most sacred of the sacred spaces and we simply don’t treat her as well as we should. I’m looking forward to learning to be a better stewart over this here body that God has entrusted me with. It all starts with good womb care- making sure that what we eat, who we fuck, and whatever else we permit into our sacred spaces are worthy of entering our body.
If you’re interested in following along with our journey, order your copy of “Sacred Woman” by clicking the book below (there’s also a journal that you can purchase to follow along in the journey too, I’m buying the journal and the book):
FEBRUARY 22, 2018
So… I attended my first of four “Tarot Card Reading for Beginners” classes last night and can I just tell you guys, it! was! Life! A few years ago I would have never been open to idea of learning about the Tarot, not to mention entertaining the idea of actually becoming a Tarot Card Interpreter myself. But here I am, in 2018, in the midst of this full blown kundalini awakening or universal awakening or something! It’s like the more I seek healing for the pain that I’ve been carrying around, the more my old ways of living are being challenged (in a very good way might I add). I know I always talk about my upbrining in the christian church but thats only because the church and its teachings have been such a major part of my identity for so long that I’d almost allowed it to keep my actual identity at bay. Long story short, its EXTREMELY important to listen to your own intuition because its God given and it is the only real compass that you need in this life. That intuition of yours (some call it your “gut instinct” or “your conscience”) is your internal compass which is guided by your Creator, your spiritual guides, hell! it might even link to your dead ancestors who can see way more than you can see and who want to make sure you’re living your happiest, safest, most purposeful life. Your intuition is connected to your past lives, I’m sure… those lives where your karmatic journey began or continued and so in this life youre most certainly dealing with some of the karma from your past lives. My point is, guys, shut out the noise and listen to your intuition because it’ll guide you in the most perfect way to your most authentic self.
I’m a spiritual healer/guide and have always been. Very few people are in tune with the universe enough to know that guides and empaths and healers exist, but we do! Now… thats as far as I’ve gotten in my understanding of who I’m created to be on earth but I’m discovering more and more as I let go of the fear of learning different stuff (my time in the church discouraged learning outside of the box). I’m trusting my intuition to guide my steps (some might call it the God in me). I’m following its lead and so far in the past 6 months its led me to: astrology, numerology and now… the Tarot!
Have I thrown away all that I’ve learned from the chrisitian church? Hell no! The bible and the chrisitian principles are GOLD! (Unfortunately, the way that christianity is often practiced is toxic but the christian faith is and will always be my foundation). Have I thrown away all that I’ve learned from my family growing up and from my undergrad degree in Psychology or my Masters degree program in Divininty? No, no and no! I’m not in the business of throwing anything away. I’m a collector, you see… a collector of knowledge. The more I study, the more I discover the connection between it all! We, humans are interconnected in a way that would scare most of you. And I find it to be the most beautiful discovery of them all because most of us have felt and still do feel very much alone… but that can never be true.
We are never alone. We just gotta figure out whats keeping us from connecting in Love. We gotta learn to be more vulnerable in this lifetime. “Squash all that east coast/west coast BS, Guys!”
Love is the movement.